Sunday, August 27, 2006
AOIs: The Untold Story
Before I get into what an AOI is, and the evil that it is, I shall talk to you about Sunday. Its a good day, it also happens to be this day.
While I don't worship RA, Apollo, or Captial G God, I still think Sundays are special. Sunday is laundry day. While others get up early to cleanse their soul, I get up early to cleanse my flightsuit. If you're gonna be a heathen, might as well smell mountain fresh doing it. Blasphemy in a dryger. I may be damned, but I got to exercise my option for the Super Cycle.
Sunday means a new week, a slew of courses, and being closer to the flightline. Sunday usually is the day most PiTs(Pilot in Trainin) have fully recovered from Friday Night.( The night is capitalized simply because this night is Epic. Imagine having 52 holidays, and looking forward to each and every one. Ravenous for 1600, safe in the knowledge that Friday Night would soon be ours.) I say most because some PiTs are sore for a few days afterwards.
You remember the Flight Welcoming Party I am to have? Well one of the flights (Bandit) had their 0607 welcoming party. The 4 PiTs from our Course were there. One of them finished the night with 4 stichs in his face. They tell me it was an accident, but really, 4 PiTs and 4 Stichs? Its too concidental to be happenstance. The 4 Bandits in question were blindfolded at the time, so they have NO idea what happened. I've heard a few rumors that will no doubt stay that way. The Pretty Pained but Patched-up PiT would be wise to keep his mouth closed. Rumors are more fun and, more importantly, not punishable under Summamary Trial (should it come to that).
We shall see on Monday.
Which brings me back to AOIs (Aircraft Operating Instructions). I have the second test tomorrow. Second of Three, the third being on Friday. Three exams on the same subject in less than 2 weeks, not bad realy. I know how the Airconditioning system works, down to the valves,inlets and heat exchangers. This is how intimately I have to know the Harvard. Lovers have known eachother's bodies less than I must know this Aircraft.
Perhaps that's hyperbole, but I'm just not entirely sure how much anymore.
Im settling into the pace of the course though. Studying is becoming less laborious, perhaps the flightline draws me forward. Three Mondays from today, I will fly. 15 days. Terrible Excitement fills my heart. Visions of high G turns, and dive runs, dancing through my head.
Yes Virginia there is an Inverted Spin, with intentional entry strictly forbidden.
Sunday draws to a close, but atleast the laundry is done.
While I don't worship RA, Apollo, or Captial G God, I still think Sundays are special. Sunday is laundry day. While others get up early to cleanse their soul, I get up early to cleanse my flightsuit. If you're gonna be a heathen, might as well smell mountain fresh doing it. Blasphemy in a dryger. I may be damned, but I got to exercise my option for the Super Cycle.
Sunday means a new week, a slew of courses, and being closer to the flightline. Sunday usually is the day most PiTs(Pilot in Trainin) have fully recovered from Friday Night.( The night is capitalized simply because this night is Epic. Imagine having 52 holidays, and looking forward to each and every one. Ravenous for 1600, safe in the knowledge that Friday Night would soon be ours.) I say most because some PiTs are sore for a few days afterwards.
You remember the Flight Welcoming Party I am to have? Well one of the flights (Bandit) had their 0607 welcoming party. The 4 PiTs from our Course were there. One of them finished the night with 4 stichs in his face. They tell me it was an accident, but really, 4 PiTs and 4 Stichs? Its too concidental to be happenstance. The 4 Bandits in question were blindfolded at the time, so they have NO idea what happened. I've heard a few rumors that will no doubt stay that way. The Pretty Pained but Patched-up PiT would be wise to keep his mouth closed. Rumors are more fun and, more importantly, not punishable under Summamary Trial (should it come to that).
We shall see on Monday.
Which brings me back to AOIs (Aircraft Operating Instructions). I have the second test tomorrow. Second of Three, the third being on Friday. Three exams on the same subject in less than 2 weeks, not bad realy. I know how the Airconditioning system works, down to the valves,inlets and heat exchangers. This is how intimately I have to know the Harvard. Lovers have known eachother's bodies less than I must know this Aircraft.
Perhaps that's hyperbole, but I'm just not entirely sure how much anymore.
Im settling into the pace of the course though. Studying is becoming less laborious, perhaps the flightline draws me forward. Three Mondays from today, I will fly. 15 days. Terrible Excitement fills my heart. Visions of high G turns, and dive runs, dancing through my head.
Yes Virginia there is an Inverted Spin, with intentional entry strictly forbidden.
Sunday draws to a close, but atleast the laundry is done.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Yay Solid Foods
I survived! You can all breathe easily.
It was a gong show, but we were allowed to quit at anytime. Ofcourse, you look like a pussy if you quit, but you are allowed to. Forever more known as the guy who drinks like a little girl.
I didn't quit, Leah(the girl in 0607) didn't quit, the two Singapore kids (maybe half my weight...maybe) didnt quit, but Kevin did. Kevin is 6 foot three, and pretty built. He quit after the second game, so disappointing. I don't think he was even drunk by the end of the night...
Moving on. Basically the course before mine 0606 bought a lot of beer and hard stuff for us to drink. We started off with prairie fires, at that point I knew we were gonna get it. We donned our diapers having an egg in the front, and a unwrapped chocolate bar in the back. That's right, we had diapers during the festivities.
Anything we did wrong, or too slow, or too fast, or really well, we had to drink. Some drinks were good, creme de bananae, cacao, mango, etc. Other times it was tequila, pretty good tequilla, but harsh none the less.
First game was a "boat race", invovling two cans of beer each. You line up in two teams. The first man drinks one beer, after hes done the 2nd man drink, and so forth. The ancor, last man, has to drink both, and it goes back up the line. My team won handily. So now Im at a few shots of Tequila, three beers, and a few shots of girly drinks from Shooter Girl O (Officer). The losing team got the chair.
The chair spins, and you have to keep your head down as they spin, during the spinning you have to do an emergency. Fire on the ground, or engine malfunction, etc. The longer it takes you to say it, the longer they spin you.
Have I mentioned we havn't been required to memorize the emergencies yet? Some of my coursemates were on the chair a while until they said "eject eject eject", which means they gave up. Once you complete your emergency or eject, you funnel a beer. So your head is spinning, you cant see straight, and they give you a tube to suck on. Great Fun.
Next Game was the Three-legged wheelbarrow race with half-way shot and chug station. My team lost as our wheelbarrow, "Charles" one of the singaporeans , couldnt go straight if he tried. No matter my team got the chair. Thankfully my emergency was an easy one that I knew, and I was funneling the beer in no time. Ofcourse in my zeal to funnel said beer I slammed it in my mouth, cutting my lips on my own teeth. As this point I was half-cut anyway, so I didnt feel it.
Which brought us to the individual challenge. Think bobbing for apples, only it was a wading pool filled with water, chocolate pudding, and oatmeal, and it was filled with 8 tangerines. Everyone got a little wet, but I got REALLY wet, I was pushed. I was told that I looked like a beached whale, hopefully the camera/video guy got it. Thats right boys and girls, there is video evidence of all these events, Im sure the blackmail will arrive soon after.
Turns out the tangerine game had no winners or losers, we each got another beer to drink and we had to walk around the building. So we drink, dripped, and walked to the opposite side. This was the final event, the slip and slide.
Palmolive and water all the way to that damn kiddy pool with pudding and oatmeal.
After we completed our "crash landing" we got the Moose Jaw Badge for our flightsuit. It has a big two on it with the saying "best in the west" on it.
After the formal ceremony of the slip'n'slide we were allowed to go wash off so we could go to the mess and get to drinking. At the mess we drank some more, and then to mix it up, even more. Sometime during the night, I tried to drink upside down, with marginal success. I did manage to hang myself upside down and turn my head to the right and drink. It was a rum and coke, normally I dislike run, last night, I couldnt taste it. Im not sure why I must climb things when I drink, but this was the first time my feet were above my head. Im glad I didnt slip and hurt myself.
We all ended up at a house of one of the older students, whereupon I called it quits, and stumbled home.
I was very drunk, and got very sick that night, but it was worth it.
Im told that the flight welcoming parties are much worse. All I can say is: Bring it.
It was a gong show, but we were allowed to quit at anytime. Ofcourse, you look like a pussy if you quit, but you are allowed to. Forever more known as the guy who drinks like a little girl.
I didn't quit, Leah(the girl in 0607) didn't quit, the two Singapore kids (maybe half my weight...maybe) didnt quit, but Kevin did. Kevin is 6 foot three, and pretty built. He quit after the second game, so disappointing. I don't think he was even drunk by the end of the night...
Moving on. Basically the course before mine 0606 bought a lot of beer and hard stuff for us to drink. We started off with prairie fires, at that point I knew we were gonna get it. We donned our diapers having an egg in the front, and a unwrapped chocolate bar in the back. That's right, we had diapers during the festivities.
Anything we did wrong, or too slow, or too fast, or really well, we had to drink. Some drinks were good, creme de bananae, cacao, mango, etc. Other times it was tequila, pretty good tequilla, but harsh none the less.
First game was a "boat race", invovling two cans of beer each. You line up in two teams. The first man drinks one beer, after hes done the 2nd man drink, and so forth. The ancor, last man, has to drink both, and it goes back up the line. My team won handily. So now Im at a few shots of Tequila, three beers, and a few shots of girly drinks from Shooter Girl O (Officer). The losing team got the chair.
The chair spins, and you have to keep your head down as they spin, during the spinning you have to do an emergency. Fire on the ground, or engine malfunction, etc. The longer it takes you to say it, the longer they spin you.
Have I mentioned we havn't been required to memorize the emergencies yet? Some of my coursemates were on the chair a while until they said "eject eject eject", which means they gave up. Once you complete your emergency or eject, you funnel a beer. So your head is spinning, you cant see straight, and they give you a tube to suck on. Great Fun.
Next Game was the Three-legged wheelbarrow race with half-way shot and chug station. My team lost as our wheelbarrow, "Charles" one of the singaporeans , couldnt go straight if he tried. No matter my team got the chair. Thankfully my emergency was an easy one that I knew, and I was funneling the beer in no time. Ofcourse in my zeal to funnel said beer I slammed it in my mouth, cutting my lips on my own teeth. As this point I was half-cut anyway, so I didnt feel it.
Which brought us to the individual challenge. Think bobbing for apples, only it was a wading pool filled with water, chocolate pudding, and oatmeal, and it was filled with 8 tangerines. Everyone got a little wet, but I got REALLY wet, I was pushed. I was told that I looked like a beached whale, hopefully the camera/video guy got it. Thats right boys and girls, there is video evidence of all these events, Im sure the blackmail will arrive soon after.
Turns out the tangerine game had no winners or losers, we each got another beer to drink and we had to walk around the building. So we drink, dripped, and walked to the opposite side. This was the final event, the slip and slide.
Palmolive and water all the way to that damn kiddy pool with pudding and oatmeal.
After we completed our "crash landing" we got the Moose Jaw Badge for our flightsuit. It has a big two on it with the saying "best in the west" on it.
After the formal ceremony of the slip'n'slide we were allowed to go wash off so we could go to the mess and get to drinking. At the mess we drank some more, and then to mix it up, even more. Sometime during the night, I tried to drink upside down, with marginal success. I did manage to hang myself upside down and turn my head to the right and drink. It was a rum and coke, normally I dislike run, last night, I couldnt taste it. Im not sure why I must climb things when I drink, but this was the first time my feet were above my head. Im glad I didnt slip and hurt myself.
We all ended up at a house of one of the older students, whereupon I called it quits, and stumbled home.
I was very drunk, and got very sick that night, but it was worth it.
Im told that the flight welcoming parties are much worse. All I can say is: Bring it.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Q: When is a Feather not fun?
When its your Propeller doing it.
Feathering (v). 1. When the blades on a prop turn 90 degree to the plane of rotation to stop windmilling, to aid in a successful power-off landing. 2. The process where your prop blades become giant canoe paddles causeing yaw and roll movements so hard you end up upside down.
Apparently an "Uncommanded Prop Feather" has never happened, but doesn't it sound like fun? When the engine is off, feathering good. Engine on: Feathering very bad. I learn all kinds of fun things in ground school.
Tomorrow is my first exam (Im studying so very hard for it too, yawn) and my course's(0607) "welcome party". Aparently its more like pledging for a frat without all those silly rules and Human Rights thingys. Seriously though, we're to show up in some form of issued dress, so a bunch of us are coming in issued long underwear (bright white waffle pattern, it'l be epic). We are to arrive at exactly 1857, and we've been told there are "drinking penalties" for being late, early, and most likely even on time. There is to be at least one bucket for our course, or perhaps one bucket per man (details are fuzzy at this point, no doubt they will remain fuzzy after the fact too). During the course of the evening we will no doubt run about doing "games" for the more senior courses. The whole reason behind this event is "comraderie", atleast that's what we tell the brass. We infact its because We are the new fish, and "they is gonna go til they's breaks one/all of us"(and by break, I mean use the bucket).
After this night is done, I have a "flight welcoming party as well" in about threeish weeks. I will be in Cobra Flight, details to follow in the coming days.
So you can see, its not all studying, there is a fair amount of copious imbing of alcohol too. There are those who, having recently passed the Harvard Course,loudly proclaim they only way they did pass was to "get wrecked every friday". Don't worry though, that's not for me. I'm more of the "light at the end of the tunnel" kinda guy. I just think to myself, only 166 training days to go, thats not so bad, a little further than next tuesday.
In other news, I got a slight speeding ticket in Medicine Hat (only lights on the transcanada for 500klicks I swear to god). I was doing 22 over, which really was quite slow for the trip, all considered. It'l work out to about 130 dollars. Chastity has her first road trip ticket, my little girl is growing up SO fast!
Miss you guys bunchs, but they keep me pretty busy here. If I get done my homework before 9, Im a happy camper. The Aerodynamics(ADY) guy is good for pseudo homework. He assigns homework everynight, but you don't have to do it, he explains everything so well in class. He has like 15+ years experiance as a fighter pilot, and he manages to keep things interesting, he has since retired many moons ago. Making ADY interesting is like making marget thatcher win the beauty pagent. Infact, this is maybe the 4th or 5th? time Ive taking ADY and its actually fun. Learning should never be fun.
Turns out Im the only glider pilot, which lets him pick me for all the glide slope formula/explaination thingys. Theres also a Mech Eng in our class, so he gets everything else *laughs*, poor poor 'gear.
Another fun fact: Im not the oldest. Infact, Im not even the 2nd oldest! Its nice to be middle of the pack. No one, to my knowledge is under 22 years of age, which is completely awesome. No more of this University crowd for me, with your "music" and your "dancing". Nope its all cane waving and muttering about the weather in my PJs for me, its the life.
I think Ive rambled enough.
Feathering (v). 1. When the blades on a prop turn 90 degree to the plane of rotation to stop windmilling, to aid in a successful power-off landing. 2. The process where your prop blades become giant canoe paddles causeing yaw and roll movements so hard you end up upside down.
Apparently an "Uncommanded Prop Feather" has never happened, but doesn't it sound like fun? When the engine is off, feathering good. Engine on: Feathering very bad. I learn all kinds of fun things in ground school.
Tomorrow is my first exam (Im studying so very hard for it too, yawn) and my course's(0607) "welcome party". Aparently its more like pledging for a frat without all those silly rules and Human Rights thingys. Seriously though, we're to show up in some form of issued dress, so a bunch of us are coming in issued long underwear (bright white waffle pattern, it'l be epic). We are to arrive at exactly 1857, and we've been told there are "drinking penalties" for being late, early, and most likely even on time. There is to be at least one bucket for our course, or perhaps one bucket per man (details are fuzzy at this point, no doubt they will remain fuzzy after the fact too). During the course of the evening we will no doubt run about doing "games" for the more senior courses. The whole reason behind this event is "comraderie", atleast that's what we tell the brass. We infact its because We are the new fish, and "they is gonna go til they's breaks one/all of us"(and by break, I mean use the bucket).
After this night is done, I have a "flight welcoming party as well" in about threeish weeks. I will be in Cobra Flight, details to follow in the coming days.
So you can see, its not all studying, there is a fair amount of copious imbing of alcohol too. There are those who, having recently passed the Harvard Course,loudly proclaim they only way they did pass was to "get wrecked every friday". Don't worry though, that's not for me. I'm more of the "light at the end of the tunnel" kinda guy. I just think to myself, only 166 training days to go, thats not so bad, a little further than next tuesday.
In other news, I got a slight speeding ticket in Medicine Hat (only lights on the transcanada for 500klicks I swear to god). I was doing 22 over, which really was quite slow for the trip, all considered. It'l work out to about 130 dollars. Chastity has her first road trip ticket, my little girl is growing up SO fast!
Miss you guys bunchs, but they keep me pretty busy here. If I get done my homework before 9, Im a happy camper. The Aerodynamics(ADY) guy is good for pseudo homework. He assigns homework everynight, but you don't have to do it, he explains everything so well in class. He has like 15+ years experiance as a fighter pilot, and he manages to keep things interesting, he has since retired many moons ago. Making ADY interesting is like making marget thatcher win the beauty pagent. Infact, this is maybe the 4th or 5th? time Ive taking ADY and its actually fun. Learning should never be fun.
Turns out Im the only glider pilot, which lets him pick me for all the glide slope formula/explaination thingys. Theres also a Mech Eng in our class, so he gets everything else *laughs*, poor poor 'gear.
Another fun fact: Im not the oldest. Infact, Im not even the 2nd oldest! Its nice to be middle of the pack. No one, to my knowledge is under 22 years of age, which is completely awesome. No more of this University crowd for me, with your "music" and your "dancing". Nope its all cane waving and muttering about the weather in my PJs for me, its the life.
I think Ive rambled enough.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
171 Training Days To Go!
I start my course Tomorrow. It shall be 8 classes of ground school. For those not mathamatically inclined thats 40 hours of ground school every week for the next 5-6 weeks. When I finish my schooling of the day, I will have 2 or 3 hours of homework (or so they tell me) every night, to prepare for the next day.
All of a sudden University doesn't look so bad.
Atleast now Im learning important things, like Aerodynamics! Because when you can tell someone about pressure(s), that makes you a better pilot! (subtle sarcasm)
Happily though, I get to actually learn useful things like Red Card Emergencies! These are the 17 things that could go wrong that require prompt response from immediate recall. AKA memorize. Some are easy, like Ejecting (yes, my new Aircraft can eject, which is much safer than not)
Ejecting from the Aircraft
Ejection Handle.........................Pull
If time and conditions permit carry out Controlled Ejection
See that's simple! Some are not so simple. This morning when I stumbled out of bed, I was studying them (sans vetments, I love living alone), I lead a pretty exciting life.
Enough about the boring parts, what about the Sprawling Metropolis of Moose Jaw, eh?
Its actually got 34,000 people, 6000+ of those being senior Citizens. Its filled with Old people. So instead of speed maniacs you have people going 40 klicks UNDER the speed limit. After spending 1,000 klicks getting to moosejaw(dog leg through Calgary) going better than 135 the whole way (I maxed out at 175, I couldnt get enough space to go that extra 5), I really freaked out going 50 in a 90 zone. Think Dennis leary having a heart attack at Dunkin Dougnuts (Off his Lock and Load album). Thankfully the slowest I'll be going is something like 125 Knots in the air(1.85Km to the Knot, therefore 231 km/h). WEEEE and not a senior citizen in sight.
Moose Jaw is also crazy in that they have traffic lights, everywhere. Maybe a mayor thought more traffic lights would mean more important. As well even the most out of the way traffic light will have advances on them. Only one side gets to go at one time. so one direction has green, the other three have red. Its quite annoying. I wont be driving that often, just for groceries and the occasional haircut. The city also has a Superstore AND a wallmart, its definately going places (unlike the traffic)
You should see all the buttons in this freaking thing. Covered on both armrests and the panel infront of you. I could google some pictures but Im sure you all know how. Im supposed to memorize where they all are...by touch (mostly) because you have to keep your head out of the cockpit so as to not run into anybody. Carol would enjoy the physics of two bodies in motion colliding at 250 knots a piece, but not the consequence of losing one of her favorite boyfriends. Thus I shall endevour to memorize all the freaking knobs, switchs, and doo-dads, so I can come home safely.
Im in a class of 13, 9 Canadians and 4 hungarians. They all speak pretty fair english, and we don't have any french Canadians, so there shouldnt be a language barrier. I havn't really had a chance to talk to any of these folk, but theres lots of time to get to know them. Like...lots of time. We have to make a course badge, its either going to be a Stewie quote "Victory will be mine" or something like that, or something to do with "Lucky 13", we havn't fully decided.
P.S if you see me online, tell me to study as often as you can. Lord knows that after today, I will probably being doing my best to avoid it.
All of a sudden University doesn't look so bad.
Atleast now Im learning important things, like Aerodynamics! Because when you can tell someone about pressure(s), that makes you a better pilot! (subtle sarcasm)
Happily though, I get to actually learn useful things like Red Card Emergencies! These are the 17 things that could go wrong that require prompt response from immediate recall. AKA memorize. Some are easy, like Ejecting (yes, my new Aircraft can eject, which is much safer than not)
Ejecting from the Aircraft
Ejection Handle.........................Pull
If time and conditions permit carry out Controlled Ejection
See that's simple! Some are not so simple. This morning when I stumbled out of bed, I was studying them (sans vetments, I love living alone), I lead a pretty exciting life.
Enough about the boring parts, what about the Sprawling Metropolis of Moose Jaw, eh?
Its actually got 34,000 people, 6000+ of those being senior Citizens. Its filled with Old people. So instead of speed maniacs you have people going 40 klicks UNDER the speed limit. After spending 1,000 klicks getting to moosejaw(dog leg through Calgary) going better than 135 the whole way (I maxed out at 175, I couldnt get enough space to go that extra 5), I really freaked out going 50 in a 90 zone. Think Dennis leary having a heart attack at Dunkin Dougnuts (Off his Lock and Load album). Thankfully the slowest I'll be going is something like 125 Knots in the air(1.85Km to the Knot, therefore 231 km/h). WEEEE and not a senior citizen in sight.
Moose Jaw is also crazy in that they have traffic lights, everywhere. Maybe a mayor thought more traffic lights would mean more important. As well even the most out of the way traffic light will have advances on them. Only one side gets to go at one time. so one direction has green, the other three have red. Its quite annoying. I wont be driving that often, just for groceries and the occasional haircut. The city also has a Superstore AND a wallmart, its definately going places (unlike the traffic)
You should see all the buttons in this freaking thing. Covered on both armrests and the panel infront of you. I could google some pictures but Im sure you all know how. Im supposed to memorize where they all are...by touch (mostly) because you have to keep your head out of the cockpit so as to not run into anybody. Carol would enjoy the physics of two bodies in motion colliding at 250 knots a piece, but not the consequence of losing one of her favorite boyfriends. Thus I shall endevour to memorize all the freaking knobs, switchs, and doo-dads, so I can come home safely.
Im in a class of 13, 9 Canadians and 4 hungarians. They all speak pretty fair english, and we don't have any french Canadians, so there shouldnt be a language barrier. I havn't really had a chance to talk to any of these folk, but theres lots of time to get to know them. Like...lots of time. We have to make a course badge, its either going to be a Stewie quote "Victory will be mine" or something like that, or something to do with "Lucky 13", we havn't fully decided.
P.S if you see me online, tell me to study as often as you can. Lord knows that after today, I will probably being doing my best to avoid it.
