Monday, June 13, 2005
No Pay for Jay
(Alternate Title: A day in the Life of an (almost) comissioned Officer)
I'm out $8,734 Cdn. Hopefully I have your interest.
Before I get into my story you'll be happy to note that it is Raining here too. I guess I've become a kind of a Rain God, Bad weather following me where ever I go. You don't have to worship me, burnt offerings or the occasional virgin sacrfice is more than sufficient.
Moving on.
I got my Pay statement today. It said I was getting an Extra 3734 dollars. That's a lot right. I mean come on! Even after I pay off All my (gambling and Credit Card) debts, I still would have 2000. I had visions of a big sweaty wad of 20's. Who here doesn't want to own a big sweaty wad of money. It would be me and the drug dealers, but atleast my money is (semi-)honestly procured.
BUT! (there's always a but)
I had been charged 3734, exactly the amount the were giving me in back pay and my additional pay for being promoted, for something called "re-classification".
I walked into the pay office, wondering where all my money had gone (my pay statement said I was to clear 285.81). So a Corporal (Cpl) and I sit down and we look at my online bank statement. Upon finding this "re-classification" line she proudly stated.
"Oh look, you were just charged this reclassification money, that's where all your money went". When I enquired what the hell that was, she gave me a blank stare. She apparently thought repeating what the computer was telling her would mollify me and make me go away. This is akin to your boss telling you that your last pay cheque was stolen by Gnomes, you can't help but ask what coloured hats they were wearing. After about 30 minutes of my little Cpl Wallis phoning and frantically trying to find out where in God's name my money was, she told me this: Call me tomorrow. I was inspired by her detective abilities. Obviously these computer gnomes were devious. Unlike the misguided underwear gnomes, the Computer Gnomes had succefully stolen 3,700 dollars from me. Apparently gnome cost-of-living is on the rise. Next election Spankys platform should be on curbing this situation.
My Boss(es) tell me that on the 15th if I don't have my money, they can "cut me a cheque". Which would be really cool, cause depositing that much money would allow me to obtain the aforementioned big sweaty wad of money(TM).
To my knowledge no one on this base knows what a "re-classification" is, or why it costs 3734 dollars. So tomorrow we will see if this Gnome/reclass theory of mine pans out. Either way, I'm getting my money or the Gnome gets it.
What about the other 5000 dollars? Well it seems that flying program I told you about? Yah, they canceled it in Nov 04. Which means I'm SOL. I was annoyed, the military parks me at a desk and expects me to maintain my current flying level...with paperwork? Oh well, I', pretty much completely disillusioned with anything Administrative right now.
Perhaps CSI will soothe me, I miss you guys already, be back tomorrow with more Pay Updates.
I'm out $8,734 Cdn. Hopefully I have your interest.
Before I get into my story you'll be happy to note that it is Raining here too. I guess I've become a kind of a Rain God, Bad weather following me where ever I go. You don't have to worship me, burnt offerings or the occasional virgin sacrfice is more than sufficient.
Moving on.
I got my Pay statement today. It said I was getting an Extra 3734 dollars. That's a lot right. I mean come on! Even after I pay off All my (gambling and Credit Card) debts, I still would have 2000. I had visions of a big sweaty wad of 20's. Who here doesn't want to own a big sweaty wad of money. It would be me and the drug dealers, but atleast my money is (semi-)honestly procured.
BUT! (there's always a but)
I had been charged 3734, exactly the amount the were giving me in back pay and my additional pay for being promoted, for something called "re-classification".
I walked into the pay office, wondering where all my money had gone (my pay statement said I was to clear 285.81). So a Corporal (Cpl) and I sit down and we look at my online bank statement. Upon finding this "re-classification" line she proudly stated.
"Oh look, you were just charged this reclassification money, that's where all your money went". When I enquired what the hell that was, she gave me a blank stare. She apparently thought repeating what the computer was telling her would mollify me and make me go away. This is akin to your boss telling you that your last pay cheque was stolen by Gnomes, you can't help but ask what coloured hats they were wearing. After about 30 minutes of my little Cpl Wallis phoning and frantically trying to find out where in God's name my money was, she told me this: Call me tomorrow. I was inspired by her detective abilities. Obviously these computer gnomes were devious. Unlike the misguided underwear gnomes, the Computer Gnomes had succefully stolen 3,700 dollars from me. Apparently gnome cost-of-living is on the rise. Next election Spankys platform should be on curbing this situation.
My Boss(es) tell me that on the 15th if I don't have my money, they can "cut me a cheque". Which would be really cool, cause depositing that much money would allow me to obtain the aforementioned big sweaty wad of money(TM).
To my knowledge no one on this base knows what a "re-classification" is, or why it costs 3734 dollars. So tomorrow we will see if this Gnome/reclass theory of mine pans out. Either way, I'm getting my money or the Gnome gets it.
What about the other 5000 dollars? Well it seems that flying program I told you about? Yah, they canceled it in Nov 04. Which means I'm SOL. I was annoyed, the military parks me at a desk and expects me to maintain my current flying level...with paperwork? Oh well, I', pretty much completely disillusioned with anything Administrative right now.
Perhaps CSI will soothe me, I miss you guys already, be back tomorrow with more Pay Updates.
# posted by Ty @ 2:16 PM 
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Silly Silly Gnomes... I think they would give you back your money if you showed a little skin Hun. Gnomes are tricky like that. BUT! It has to be the right amount of skin and the right kind of skin... Make sure that this is done properly or not only will said Money Gnomes walk away with your money but possibly some other bits of you as well... Int other words. No Mooning the poor Gnomes.
Yes, but how many classifications for rain do you have? Oh, if it makes you feel better, it's still raining here.
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