Ty Ewup

That's right, everywhere people are flocking to IKEA. The Sweedish Weapons Cartel has been sneaking in weapons hidden amongst all the fashionably affordable furniture for years. They have been distributing not only weapons but propaganda. Tales of a better life, a Sweedish life! They claim that with cheap breakfast and furniture ( Some assembly required), all your ails will be cured! Their target audience: impressionable educated young adults.

That's right, university students. IKEA, having armed students with left-wing utopian ideals, cheap furniture, assult weapons, and a full tummy, they have acquired themselves a militant army!

If only I had seen it sooner! I could have stopped these bastards! I suspect the Sweedish Invasion Army to be here any day, and they will have local support.

Oh yes, very local.